A few days ago, I stumbled upon an Amy Schumer joke video (to which I’ll put the link down below), that presented a bunch of girls complimenting on each other and their reactions – I won’t spoil it for you, go watch it -, mostly their inability to receive the compliments they were made to.
I found the outcome of it quite ridiculous; obviously, there is no need to add that this is a parody but all parodies have their side of truth, right? Well, this is reality is so greatly and sadly true. Our society doesn’t like to spend time on teaching us useless things such as how to receive thank yous and compliments.
Thanking people is an educated thing to do, that’s true. But only for what they do for us, or to say no in a polite manner. We don’t get taught how to thank people nor to be grateful and say it. So it is okay – and recommended – to say when things are wrong but not when they’re right? Why not?
It is just weird. People find it weird. They don’t know how to receive positivity. And when you do say something positive that concerns them, they avoid it, change subjects, pretend they didn’t hear. And not because they’re happy inside and don’t know how to show it, but because they think they don’t deserve it, or think the giver is lying, or pretending, and so on.
It is true that it is not the case of all. Some people are good at receiving compliments and thank yous. But to be honest, even if there were 3 out of 7 billion who did not know how to embrace the positivity in a thank you and a compliment, I’d still be writing these words; it makes me really sad that people don’t realise they’re good people, doing well and good things.
When people thank you or make you compliments, own it. If they believe you deserve to be thanked or complimented on, it is for a reason. Just take it. Nothing less, nothing more. And if you don’t know how to, learn. It’s good for you – it doesn’t get much more complicated than that.
Not only does knowing your value help when facing your potential future boss at a job interview while trying to sell yourself ; it also helps when you get thrown negativity at, voluntarily or not. It helps you stay put and stand straight when people tell you you’re doing it wrong (or not well enough).
Knowing your worth acts like an umbrella when you have no other choice but to walk under the rain.
And when you realise someone’s actions or words are worth mentioning, mention them. Doing things well – whatever they are -, acting the right way – however (in)significant it might be -, being good to people around – whoever they might be – is not obvious.
Acts of goodness are not to be taken for granted. Show it, say it, share it. Learn how to see it.
Knowing how to thank people for what they do, whoever they might be and however they might be related to you (or not), helps you live a happier life, or at least a happier day, or maybe just hour or minute. Everyone wants happiness, right?
Or did I get it all wrong? I’m just not just sure humans are on this planet to get richer and richer and to get on each other’s feet.
Human beings, we get better. That’s what we do. We strive for for doing things better, faster, stronger, and all that. History shows it, your parents and grand-parents’ lives show it. Yours should as well. And if it doesn’t, then there’s something wrong. If you don’t think you’re doing better, then something is wrong. You’re not meant to be sad, unhappy, uncomfortable, angry forever.
There is and always will be room for improvement. In your workout, organisation, relationships, at work, the way you brush your teeth or cut your onions.
But that does not mean you are worth nothing when you get criticised on one thing or the other.
In order to get better at doing what you do, at being who you are, you need to realise your worth. And welcoming words of kindness is one way to help you find this worth. Let people thank and compliment you. Rather than happiness, positivity is around the corner – just don’t walk the other way around. There are people handing you their hands over there. Go for it.
Here are three links related to this article, more specifically on why it is important to be grateful: